


Research Monster

by Santosha



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Academia, Gen, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Physics, Science Bros, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-09
Updated: 2014-02-09
Packaged: 2018-01-11 16:20:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1175184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Santosha/pseuds/Santosha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All Bruce wanted was to spend a couple of days talking about physics, without the fate of the world hanging in the balance.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Research Monster

It was certainly the politest audience in the history of academic conferences, Bruce thought, as the last physicist smiled, nodded, and fled. His phone buzzed on silent mode as he packed up his papers.

 

 Tony had texted _how did the paper go over_

He responded _everyone is too scared to talk to me. they heard I was rage monster GRRR_

_buy you a drink? be there in 15_

*

 

 In twenty minutes Tony was mocking Bruce’s professional colleagues while holding a glass of the most expensive single malt the hotel bar could offer.

 

 “Because someone who is _an Avenger_ might Hulk out if someone asked him a _question about physics_. That could absolutely happen.”

 

“I thought I could have a couple of days of normal,” Bruce mourned, with his head down on the bar. “Just a couple of days of hanging out talking about radiation and particles and stuff, without the fate of the world hanging in the balance. But no one will talk to me. I have no idea what they think of the paper. They are too afraid to ask a question, raise an objection, anything.  They all just smile and run away.”

 

Tony patted him on the shoulder. “Submit it somewhere else, and next time you present it I’ll come sit in the back row and heckle you.”

 

“You’ll what?”

 

“I’ll bring a bunch of really hard questions to get everyone else warmed up.”

 

“You aren’t even a physicist.”

 

Tony got a bit louder. “Excuse me, I built my own _particle accelerator..._ ”

 

“That’s just engineering.”

 

“… and synthesized a sample of oh my god are you trolling me?”

 

Bruce snickered at him. Tony set his glass down in order to more easily smack the back of Bruce’s head. Nearby physicists quietly picked up their drinks and moved farther away from them. Tony noticed this and sulked. “No one’s ever afraid of _me_ in hotel bars. I bet I’ve trashed more of them than you have.”

 

Alarmed, Bruce examined Tony carefully, to estimate the odds of immediate mayhem ensuing. _All talk. For now._ He grumbled anyway, “Next time I’m inviting Jane Foster to be my conference buddy.”

 

“Then you’d have Thor trashing the hotel bar. That’s better? Is there more physics today or can I drag you back to my workshop now and switch to robotics, since I’m _not a physicist_ just an _engineer…”_

 

“There’s one more talk I was thinking of going to, on semi-conductor materials for detection of gamma-ray radiation, did that woman over there just throw her cocktail into her date’s face?”  Even in a room containing the Hulk in potentia, this counted as high drama, and most of the room watched her stalk towards the door, until the man caught up with her, grabbing her arm.

 

Tony and Bruce organized their strategy in one wordless glance, and then slid out of their chairs, approaching the couple.

 

Bruce greeted the grey-haired man as if nothing unusual was happening. “Professor Harris, isn’t it? I was hoping to get a chance to ask you about your latest article.”

 

Harris stared at him in confusion, momentarily distracted while Tony spoke quietly to the young woman out of Bruce’s earshot.

 

Alas, Harris made a quick recovery and moved from startled on into furious, and started to snarl about who-do-you-think-you-are-interfering.  Bruce figured that “being snarled at” still counted as “creating a distraction,” but Tony didn’t seem to be carrying out his part of whatever the plan was supposed to be.  Instead he was saying to the infuriated Harris, “Take a swing at him.”

 

“Tony!” said Bruce.  Maybe strategies should be made using words from now on.

 

“No, see, you want to show a room full of your colleagues how good your control is over the other guy, this is perfect. They’ll see you can take a punch from this drunken idiot, they won’t be afraid to tell you about the flaws in your methodology after that.”

 

“Stop helping!”

 

“You are hopeless at starting a bar fight. Do I have to do everything?”

 

“I’m really hoping you aren’t going to do _anything_.”

 

Harris blustered, “Are you threatening me? Do you know who I am?”

 

“You’re the guy who thinks he’s the apex predator in this ecosystem,” Tony grinned at him, showing teeth.

 

Mercifully, hotel security showed up at this point.

 

*

 

The young woman introduced herself as Emma, said she was a grad student, and accepted Tony’s offer of a ride back to her hotel.  

 

“That bastard Harris said he would answer some questions I had about his work, why not meet for drinks, and _of course_ it turns out he had something other than work in mind. I told him two or three times I wasn’t interested, I just wanted to talk physics. I guess it took a martini to the face for him to get the picture.”

 

They pushed through the revolving door to the sidewalk outside, where Happy was pulling up. Emma’s jaw dropped. “That’s you, the limo? Why? I mean how come a limo for a conference?”

 

Bruce put her luggage in the trunk. “Don’t look at me, it’s his. Did you not recognize him? Tony Stark?” He tried not to watch her face. She would be putting together the part about how, _if that’s Tony Stark, you must be…_

 

He didn’t want to see the moment when she realized he was a threat, not a colleague.

 

They piled inside, and Tony told Happy where to drop Emma off.  When he turned around, she was silent and round-eyed. “What?”

 

“Sorry! I don’t mean to be an idiot. It’s just that I just now figured out that I got rescued from sexual harassment at an academic conference by _two Avengers,_ and I therefore have the _best story ever_ to tell at parties, for the rest of my life.”

 

Bruce blinked at this take on events.

 

“Aw, if I’d have known you felt that way I could have called the Iron Man suit,” Tony said. “Makes any story cooler by its mere presence.”

 

“At least I got _something_ out of today.  I just threw a drink onto one of the most respected figures in my field, so I’m probably a pariah now. God knows what he’s telling people about me.”

 

Bruce finally caught up to the conversation, which was not going how he had expected.  “We should form a support group. Physics outcasts need to stick together.”

 

Emma looked surprised, and Bruce continued, “I’m not in your exact subfield, but we can stay in touch if you need a contact outside the, um, more traditional academic circles.” 

 

“Outside of Harris’s sphere of influence you mean?” She accepted Bruce’s business card, and stared at it. Dr. Bruce Banner, Avengers Tower, Manhattan.

 

Happy pulled up to the hotel.  Emma looked Bruce in the eye, and offered her hand. “Thank you, Dr. Banner.” Bruce shook her hand, still a bit startled by her lack of fear of the Hulk.

 

He half-listened to Tony’s description of the project waiting for them in the workshop, while Emma got her belongings and waved goodbye.

 

“So?” Tony prodded, “You want to come down for a while? Come on, it’s awesome.”

 

Bruce shook his head. “I can submit the paper to this conference in Chicago if I can cut it down to three thousand words by Friday. Better get started.”

 

“I guess you better.” Tony grinned at him, and turned his attention to his phone, as Happy drove them home.


End file.
